Step Outside

If you hadn't already noticed...this is kind of a strange time in my life. I’m currently in the middle of trying to figure out who I am and what I would enjoy spending the rest of my life doing. It’s all very exciting, stressful, scary, liberating and everything else in between. Weirdly, I feel like my life just started about a month ago. It’s kind of like I’ve been on autopilot for the last 21 years and then suddenly someone flipped a switch and well…here I am.

Everything is changing entirely TOO quickly, while at the same time not changing quickly enough. This is probably because technology has  made all of us require instant gratification. We want everything RIGHT NOW. And having to wait for anything just seems like a waste of time. My mindset, plans, dreams and even my personal style are finally evolving and falling into place. But the reality of my life is having a hard time trying to keep up. You can only move forward so much at a time.

I’ve spent the last few weeks feeling incredibly restless. I’ve been busy, but I’ve also been spending a lot of time alone. Mainly because there are way too many ideas swirling around inside my head for me to focus on too much right now.

However, I’ve noticed that any progress I've made can be credited towards being brave enough to step out of my comfort zone. Something I have never been very good at doing. I’ve spent 99.9% of my life not having the confidence to go after the things I want and take risks. But that has finally changed.

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced this, but lately I can FEEL that something big is going to happen soon. I just don’t know what that something is. It’s killing me because I’m working towards and waiting for something. But I have no idea what it is. When it will get here. Or if it will even get here at all. And I know that to some people, this may sound crazy. But bear with me here.

Even though a lot of things are up in the air for me right now...this is the least complicated my life has been in a long time. Possibly ever. I’m obviously not EXACTLY where I want to be. But I’m getting there. And I think I’ve got a pretty good idea about the steps I need to be taking. However, it feels like SOMETHING is missing. It’s like I’ve been making all of this room...sorting things out and working on myself...but for what? What’s going to fall into place to make all of this feel more full? I still have absolutely no idea. BUT. I’m going to continue moving forward and see what happens.

Regardless of my insane thought process and over analyzing...I still cannot stress enough how important it is to do things that make you uncomfortable. To step out of your bubble and try out something you’d normally be afraid of.
 

The other day I read an article that said “Whatever it is that terrifies you, that’s what you’re supposed to be doing.” And I have to agree. Whether it’s a dress you don’t think you can pull off, a haircut you’re not sure will look good, a job you’re too afraid to leave, or a guy you think is way out of your league. GO FOR IT.

If the thought of doing something terrifies you, you must REALLY want it.. And life is way too short to not be at least trying to get what you truly want. There are a lot things in my life I wish I could go back and redo. I’ve missed out on so many different opportunities, simply because I was too afraid to take advantage of them when I had the chance. And at this point, I can’t really afford to have too many more “What Ifs”. And most likely, you can’t either.

Worse case scenerio, you fall flat on your face and make a fool of yourself. At least you’ll KNOW. And you won’t have to ever wonder what would have happened if you we’re brave enough to take that leap. Plus, 50 years down the road, you can look back at yourself and laugh at how young and naive you were.

Anyways, if you take away anything from this post at all, I hope it’s a little bit of a push to take a risk. Even a tiny one. Like they say, if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.

Below are a few photos that Harrison Ponce (@harrison_ponce) took of me today. Both photos we’re 90’s inspired and very different from the kinds of shoots we normally do. Speaking for myself, I usually feel overly obsessed with the details: does my outfit look good? How is my hair? Are the props we’re using displayed correctly? What’s the lighting look like right now? Do I have a double chin in any of these? Does this look natural?
But today was a lot more “nonchalant”. It was less serious and pretty. And I really love the way they turned out!
I’m currently in the process of working on a few different projects, involving writing, photography, styling and film, with a few different peeps! So I’m super excited to throw some different things there! And I look forward to seeing what people think about them :)