Uncharted Territory

 

These past few weeks have been such a whirlwind that I’ve barely had the time to stop and take a look at what's been happening. So now that the dust has settled and I finally have the chance to sit down and write this, I can’t help but feel a lot overwhelmed. In just 4 very short weeks, my life has yet again done a complete 180 turn. So I’m currently living in a life that I don’t yet recognize. I feel scared, anxious, alone, excited, motivated and somehow comfortable. I guess that despite all of these changes, I know that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

For a very long time, I had a few things in my life that I used as a safety net. Things that kept me comfortable. Things that made me think “Well...if all else fails, I’ve still got this!” And for many years, I didn’t really see an issue with this. Because, everyone has a back up plan and a security blanket, right?  Right. But, the thing I’ve come to slowly see is that “growth and comfort do not co-exist". If you’re never brave enough to break away from all of that stability, you’re never going to get anywhere.

Being in my early 20s, I’ve got the rest of my life ahead of me to settle and be “comfortable”. But I can’t get these years back once they’re gone. So I have to take risks NOW. When an opportunity or a urge arises, you can’t pass it up. You never know when you might get another chance.

I think one of the main issues with myself, my generation and maybe human beings in general is that we’re under this misconception of “perfect timing”. Perfect timing is a myth. There is no such thing. Especially when it comes to taking a giant, scary, leap. Your current situation is only what you perceive it to be and if you’re looking for reasons NOT to do something...you’re going to find them. So really, now is as good a time as any to WHATEVER it is that you keep putting off.

One of the scariest things I’ve done this month is quit the job I’ve had since I was 16. For the past 5 or so years, I’ve worked as the office manager and company coordinator for a dance studio called Centerstage, in Tampa, Florida. Taking into consideration that I actually started dancing there when I was just 3 or 4 years old, it’s safe to say that I LITERALLY grew up there. I spent practically the majority of every week of my life for the past 18 years there. So, saying that finally building up the courage to do something new was a challenge, is an understatement.

Leaving Centerstage felt similar to moving out of your parents house for the first time. It also kind of felt like breaking up with the first person you fall in love with. And I’ll admit, I did have mini panic attack/mental break down afterwards. However, I know it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t use my job there as a crutch anymore. It was time.

Another thing that it was time to do this month was, put the past in the past. I was finally able to really let go of one friendship that I had been clinging onto for such a long time. People grow up and you begin to head in different directions. That’s just the way it goes. I think the most important thing to remember when growing apart from someone you care so deeply for, is that it’s nobody’s fault. There isn’t one thing you could go back and do differently to change the outcome. People come into your life to teach you a lesson and to help you grow as a person. But eventually you’ll get to a point where you stop growing together. You’ll actually start holding each other back. And the only way to move forward is to grow separately. It sucks and it’s painful. But eventually it won’t be. And you’ll be able to look back on the time you spent together and feel lucky to have been able to have them around for as long as you did. Eventually you won’t feel like you lost something. You’ll just feel thankful.

This month I also began working on a very big project with my roommate and best friend, Harrison. The polaroids you see in this post are a preview of a small project within the big project, if that makes any sense. We are working on and planning so many things right now that we actually have TOO many ideas and not enough time. We’ve been lucky enough to meet and work with some really talented people and I can’t wait to be able to share more details on all of this with everyone! So keep your eyes out at the end of this month and the beginning of next month for a few major announcements!

I chose to title this blog entry “Uncharted Territory” for obvious reasons. I’m in a place that I’ve never been in before and it is genuinely scary. There’s an abundance of new faces, surroundings, schedules, routines, responsibilities and opportunities and I’m not used to it yet. However, I’m more excited than I am scared. I’ve come to see that the feelings of fear and excitement are very similar. And they definitely tend to go hand in hand.

I’m more than ready for this new chapter of my life to get going and am anxious to see where the rest of 2014 is going to go. Honestly at this point, I don’t think that too much would really surprise me. It’s clear to me now that anything could happen at anytime and you just have to be ready to jump on all of the opportunities the universe throws at you.

I apologize to anyone who keeps up with my blog for the lack of posts this month! But I promise , you’ll soon be seeing a lot of different things from me popping up on your newsfeed. So keep a look out!

 

Polaroids by Harrison Ponce

(@harrison_ponce)

Model: Eddie Velez

(@__eddie_)