Experiences > Objects

Over the past few years, I’ve had to accept the fact that I have a bit of a shopping problem. And I don’t mean with clothes or shoes. I’m talking about shopping in general. Books, home decorations, notebooks, q-tips, hand soap, nail polish, coffee mugs. I don’t care what it is, if it looks nice...chances are, I’ll find a reason to buy it (Unless it’s groceries. I’ll do anything within my power to avoid grocery shopping). I have an especially hard time going to Target. You go in there, needing something small, like face wash. But then you end up leaving with face wash, a new pair of sandals, a scented candle, stationary, socks and a frozen pizza. There’s just all these things you didn’t even know you needed! Plus, they always get you with that damn dollar section. It’s like, do you need plastic plates that look like records? You don’t? Well TOO BAD. Because they’re only a dollar and you’re going to buy them anyways.

Now, while I see that this is still an issue that I need to get a better handle on in the near future, I’m also not too worried. I tend to buy things based solely on aesthetics. Like I said...I just REALLY like nice looking shit, okay? However, I don’t let these new objects have any hold over my happiness or sense of self worth. They are just THINGS. Many people use “Retail Therapy” as a way to relieve stress or feel to better about themselves. There are people who NEED to have the newest and the best of everything! Whether it be handbags, cars, suits, or the latest piece of technology.

They base their level of success and happiness off of how much STUFF they have. They buy shit they don’t need and hang it all around their home as a sign of power. Then when people come over for dinner on a Friday night, they walk them around the house, showing off all of their latest purchases, as if this will make their guests feel jealous. They get up each morning, spend all day slaving away at work...to make money...to buy stuff. Then...they come home each day and stare at their stuff, thinking “Ah yes...LOOK AT ALL THESE THINGS I WAS ABLE TO PURCHASE WITH MY MONEY. I must be successful. Right?!?! Maybe I should invite over the neighbors so they can tell me how much they like the new grill I just bought. Yeah. I’m gonna invite them over.”

It’s the same thing on social media. However, instead of it being things they purchased for themselves, it’s things that we’re purchased for them by other people. Be it their parents, best friend, boyfriend, whomever. For example, a picture of someone hugging a brand new, shiny Mercedes. With a caption like: OMG! BEST. PARENTS. EVER. #mercedes #blessed #mynewbaby #love. Or my other favorite. A picture of a flashy designer bag with the caption: My boyfriend is perfect!!!! #michaelkors #bae #perfect #lovehim *then a lot of kissy face emojis*.

First of all, isn’t it enough that someone loved you enough to spend such a large amount of money on you? Do you really need MORE praise? Is it really going to make you feel good about yourself to have people comment things like “OMG YOU’RE SO LUCKY!” or “WOW. I’m so jealous!”. If it is...then I think you probably need to take a look in the mirror and reassess your priorities.

I would just like to take one second to say to my parents, that if you ever in the future have enough money to blow on a brand new Mercedes for me...please don’t do it. Send me on a really long trip to Europe or something. NO ONE NEEDS A BRAND NEW MERCEDES. And to any future boyfriends I have, do not ever buy me something extravagant like a stupid designer bag. Take me to DO something, like kayaking or camping or anything really.

If you ever feel like you need to show someone how much you care about them, spending money isn’t the way to go about doing it. Anyone can run to the mall and throw down a few hundred dollars on a fancy gift. But not everyone is going to go out of their way to create a day of activities for you.

We’ve all gotten so wrapped up in OBJECTS  that we’ve began investing all of our time and money into having things, rather than investing in experiences. Maybe that shiny new Cadillac looks nice when you’re driving it down the street. But when you come to the end of your life, you’re not going to think back on how much you loved the way you looked driving it. You’re going to look back on the adventures you went on and the trips you took with your best friends and family members.

Recently, I’ve been working on DOING more and spending less. I’ve been trying to invest my time and money into furthering my craft and getting out of my apartment more. While I really love spending time alone, I can see that I need to make more of an effort to spend time with the people that matter most to me. I’m only going to have this much freedom to do what I want with my days for so long, so I might as well enjoy this time with good people. And I’d like to make that time as memorable as possible.

Growing up, my parents always had me doing SOMETHING. And while we never had very much money, I always look back at my childhood as being magical. Maybe I didn’t have a lot of THINGS, but I was always happy and never bored. We’d take road trips and hike to waterfalls, ride horses through the woods, explore caves and camp. We’d go canoeing, ride four wheelers through the mud or build a treehouse in the front yard.

I look at kids today and see their parents hand them an ipad at four years old. They think that this qualifies as keeping their children happy and entertained. Well, let me just tell you that it doesn’t. Working in a dance studio, I see things like this everyday. A mom, texting away on her phone and her child trying their hardest to get her to play with them. And yet, the moms just shoo them away and shove an mini DVD player in their face. Wouldn’t you rather sit on the ground and color a picture with your child? Is your Twitter feed more important than hearing about what your kid learned in school today?

You only have so much time with them like this. Because one day they’re going to learn how to drive and you’re not going to see them anymore. Buying your kid shit they don’t need to distract them from the fact that you’re too busy to pay attention to them, doesn’t make up for the fact that you’re a shitty parent. If in the future I ever end up getting married and having kids, I plan on giving them the kind of childhood that I had. One with more experiences than objects. I’d like to hope that because of that, they’ll grow up and do the same for their future kids.

I’d want to make sure that these hypothetical future kids of mine could see that their happiness, self worth and success should never be affected by how much stuff they own. It should come from knowing that they’re a good person who makes sure to take advantage of each day. I would hate for them to feel like they needed to have the latest or best of anything to feel happy. You create happiness within yourself and the new iphone 700 isn’t going to make your life any better or get people to like you. And it definitely isn’t going to get you to like yourself any more.

We all need to take a step back and look at what’s really important. And I guarantee you that none of them are things you bought at the mall last weekend.

Below is a photoshoot that I worked on with Harrison (Photographer. Instagram: @harrison_ponce) and Eddie (Model. Instagram: @____eddie_) this past weekend. Recently I’ve grown incredibly fond of coming up with ideas for shoots and styling them. And it’s definitely something I plan to continuing working on and improving at. In my opinion investing my time into something like this is probably a lot more beneficial to my happiness than sitting at home playing with a new Macbook Pro.