What You Might Have Been

The other night I was sitting in my kitchen, eating snacks in my pajamas with one of my best friends, Shantel. She is one of the few people in this world who's actually able to hold a conversation that doesn’t revolve around what everyone else we know is doing. So this night, like most others before, we ended up talking about the future. Dreams, goals, progress, obstacles, that kind of stuff. Unfortunately though, this particular discussion wasn’t as day dreamy and uplifting as usual. Most of the conversation centered around feelings such as “Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing?” and “Shouldn’t I be further ahead by now? Maybe it’s too late for me to make this happen...”

Luckily, after some serious analysis and a few moments filled with teary eyes, we devised a plan. There was no need to feel doubtful or self conscious. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. No matter what it is that you want, it’s never too late or unreachable. You just have to want it. And I mean reeeeeeally want.

A few months back, I had an intoxicated conversation with someone who is very dear to me. She asked me what my plans for the future were and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Now, at this time I was in the middle of trying to start a clothing line with my 2 best friends. And though I recently came to see that this wasn’t actually MY dream, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t doable. In fact, the scary part was that it was ENTIRELY doable. But that is a different post, for a different time.

Anyways, upon telling her about my plans, she replied with “Well...that’s nice but, don’t you think your dreams are a little bit too big?” I practically spit my wine out at her in disbelief. Had she really just said that?! I went on to explain to her that no, I did not think my dreams we’re too big. In fact, I didn’t think they were nearly big enough. She then shook her head at me and advised me to, and I quote, “Get in with a big company now, so that I can set myself up with health insurance and retirement for the future.” She proceeded to explain that it isn’t always about doing the things you’re passionate about. It’s about security, rather than being happy with your career.

And while I gave her the benefit of the doubt, considering her intentions we’re in the right place and we’d already downed 2 bottles of wine, I couldn’t help but be hurt. How dare she tell me that my dreams were unreachable and push me towards an unhappy 9-5 future. Later that night on my drive home, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that this was probably the reason so many young people didn’t chase after their dreams. Somewhere down the line, they probably had someone older and “wiser” advising them against it. And then, 30 years down the road, when they found themselves working a job they hated, just for the safety net, they probably regretted not going after what it was that they really wanted.

Now...what I just described is my literal nightmare. I lose sleep at night worrying that one day I’ll end up working 9-5 in a big office, facilitating someone else's dream. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about 30 minute lunch breaks and 401k’s. If you ever in the future run into me and I tell you that this is what I’m doing, please do me a favor and shoot me right then and there. I’ll already be dead inside anyways.

Luckily, I was able to grow up with parents who have always let me be independent and pushed me towards making my own decisions. They supported my free spirit and accepted the fact that over the past few years, my plans have been constantly changing.  I’ve tried on a lot of different hats and none of them seemed to fit until I stumbled onto this whole writing thing.

It’s funny though, because sometimes the children become the parents. I’d like to think that that’s how I’ll know I’ve done my job...when my future kids turn around and start giving ME advice. I recently had a conversation with my mom, about photography. Now, if you’ve met my mom, you’ve seen her work. And if you’ve seen her work, you’ll probably ask yourself why she didn’t try and start making a career out of photography years ago.

During our conversation my mom basically told me that it was too late to start working on her dreams now. And to be honest I had to laugh at her, because she’s literally been working on this for about as long as I can remember. She has all of this talent...and practically EVERY single connection that you could ever want…and somehow she never decided to try and make a real career out of it. She’d always been pushing me towards my dreams, but didn’t feel confident enough to go after her own.

When she told me it was “Too late”. I stared at her like she was crazy and said that there was no such thing as “Too late.” Recently though, she’s been able to turn her dreams into reality. And while she’s done all of this on her own, I’d like to think that I helped push her in the right direction.

 

It’s never too late to be what you might have been. There is no dream too big or unreachable. No matter how old, young, or inexperienced you are. You can be or do anything that you want, as long as you’re willing to make sacrifices for it. I guess that’s a good gauge to see how badly you want something...ask yourself what you’re willing to give up to get it. If your answer is “Anything...” then congratulations…you’re already half way there.

And while I know that I have years of hard work ahead of me, I don’t feel stressed or nervous. I’ve found the thing I’m passionate about and I know that eventually, I’ll find a way to make it into a career. I’m not naïve enough to think that it’s going to happen over night or that I’ll be making any money off of it anytime soon, but who cares? Hell, I’d work for free if someone was willing to give me a chance to just gain experience. If you’re truly talented at something and love it enough, the money will follow in time.

It’s the people that wake up everyday excited about their work that are truly successful. What fun is it to have buckets of money, if you wake up each day dreading going into work? Figure out what it is that you’re passionate about and pour yourself into it. It’s better to fall flat on your face a few times than to live the rest of your life with regrets.

Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. Who are they and what do they know anyways? J.K. Rowling was told “not to quit her day job” and was turned down by 12 publishers before someone picked up Harry Potter. I mean…It’s HARRY FREAKING POTTER. If that’s not motivation to work towards whatever it is that you believe in, then I don’t know what is.

Like I say in probably every blog post, THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Don’t ever let someone deter you from your dreams and don’t ever, EVER think that it’s too late. You can reach even the craziest of goals if you’re willing to put in the work.

Below is a series of photos that Harrison Ponce took of me earlier this week. (Instagram @Harrison_ponce). They we're taken at Oxford Exchange in Tampa, Florida. Literally one of our favorite places, just because of the décor. If you're looking for some inspiration for your home...go there right now. Anyways, I'd like to think that these photos represent the type of life I imagine for myself in the future. One involving lots reading, writing and photo shoots. Hopefully in places with great coffee, beautiful décor and delicious food!