The older we get, the more valuable our time becomes. We get busier and busier and any free moment we have should be spent doing something or being with someone who makes us feel good. With that being said, its only natural for us to leave certain relationships, habits, routines, and even dreams in the past.
Speaking for myself, and probably a lot other people, your twenties are about getting your shit together. They're about going out on your own and trying to create the life that you've been imagining for yourself since you were a little kid. They're about finding your independence and learning how to be comfortable with being alone. They're about proving to yourself (and sometimes your parents) that YES, you can be a functioning adult...most of the time. It's the absolute best time of your life while simultaneously being the most terrifying.
You finally have the freedom to do whatever you please, whenever you please. However, you also have the freedom to completely screw yourself over. Your twenties are all about making mistakes, taking big risks and learning from all of it.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve personally had to learn, is that sometimes moving up, means moving on. By that I mean, often in order to be able to reach the next rung on this ladder of life, you have to cut off some dead weight. Life is all about moving forward, progressing, refining, growing and creating. So naturally, to keep up with our ever changing paths, our needs and wants evolve. Because of this, we sometimes no longer have the space in our minds, hearts or schedules for certain people, plans and feelings. AND THAT IS OKAY.
It took me such a long time to come to terms with the harsh reality that, nothing is permanent. So many times I found it nearly impossible to let go of things that simply no longer suited me. I had to learn that just because something isn't bad for you, that doesn’t mean it’s good for you!
One of the craziest, yet simplest things I’ve come to see is that anything could happen. Seriously….ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN. And there’s absolutely no way that anyone could predict how they’re going to feel or what they’re going to want when they wake up in the morning. I can tell you from experience, that one day you might wake up and realize that you have absolutely no interest in everything you ever thought you wanted. Suddenly, you have a completely blank slate in front of you. I can see how certain people may feel incredibly freed by this. I however am not one of these people. Or at least, I wasn’t.
Very recently I gave up on a handful of dreams that I’d been holding on to for a long time now. I realize that this sounds incredibly depressing. But I promise you that it isn’t. I gave up on them, not because I couldn’t reach them, but because I no longer wanted them.
As many people do, I had a very specific plan for the rest of my life. A plan of exactly where I wanted to end up (but not so much the steps of how to get there). However, the problem is that I drew up these blueprints for my future when I was probably 17 or 18. Obviously as I’ve gotten older, the details of said plan have evolved and grown along with me. But here I am at 21, and this plan just no longer makes any sense for the person I’ve become. If this plan was a house, there would have been way too many bedrooms and not enough back yard space.
It took me such a long time to come to terms with the harsh reality that, nothing is permanent. So many times I found it nearly impossible to let go of things that simply no longer suited me. I had to learn that just because something isn't bad for you, that doesn’t mean it’s good for you!
One of the craziest, yet simplest things I’ve come to see is that anything could happen. Seriously….ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN. And there’s absolutely no way that anyone could predict how they’re going to feel or what they’re going to want when they wake up in the morning. I can tell you from experience, that one day you might wake up and realize that you have absolutely no interest in everything you ever thought you wanted. Suddenly, you have a completely blank slate in front of you. I can see how certain people may feel incredibly freed by this. I however am not one of these people. Or at least, I wasn’t.
Very recently I gave up on a handful of dreams that I’d been holding on to for a long time now. I realize that this sounds incredibly depressing. But I promise you that it isn’t. I gave up on them, not because I couldn’t reach them, but because I no longer wanted them.
As many people do, I had a very specific plan for the rest of my life. A plan of exactly where I wanted to end up (but not so much the steps of how to get there). However, the problem is that I drew up these blueprints for my future when I was probably 17 or 18. Obviously as I’ve gotten older, the details of said plan have evolved and grown along with me. But here I am at 21, and this plan just no longer makes any sense for the person I’ve become. If this plan was a house, there would have been way too many bedrooms and not enough back yard space.
You’d be surprised at how hard it is to actually sift through your own bullshit. Figuring out what it is that you REALLY want is seriously difficult. There are a lot things you THINK you want, things you wished you wanted and other things that you don’t want, but know would be good for you. There are also certain things that just feel inevitable.
It’s scary creating a new outline for your life. You have to accept the fact that you’re a completely different person than you used to be and ever thought you would be. Then, you will realize that you are in completely uncharted territories and you’re not sure where to go.
You start to reanalyze most aspects of your life. You’ll probably make lists in your head of all the things you wished were different. And if you’re anything like me, that will most likely overwhelm you. So first, you’ll probably dye your hair, rearrange your bedroom and then buy a new pair of ankle boots. After that, you’ll start to tackle things that actually matter. Such as where you’d like to be in 5 years, or whether or not the people that occupy your time are the best people to be occupying your time.
Weirdly enough, things will begin to fall into place all on their own. I’m not entirely sure how this happens, but I’m thankful it does. You just have to trust yourself. And while I know this is much easier said than done, I guarantee you that it’s absolutely necessary. Trust your instincts and your ability to accomplish your goals.
There is a quote that I’m sure you’ve seen floating somewhere around the internet that says "You're under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago". It’s often incredibly difficult to remember something so simple, but so important. This is your life and you can choose to take it in any direction you want at anytime.
Never be afraid to let go. And never be afraid to move forward.
XO, Dani Kye
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