Intro

The other day I was standing in the kitchen of the apartment I shared with my best friend, Harrison. We we’re having a conversation while I was making a smoothie and Etta James was playing. I started to have one of those moments where you stop for a second, assess your surroundings and say to yourself “Wait, when did this become my life?”

In such an insignificant moment, it hit me that this isn’t something I had always done. Even though it felt completely normal, listening to jazz and having a casual conversation over smoothies in my own apartment, at noon on a Monday, wasn’t always in my routine. I could remember all of the types of Mondays I’d had before this. Ones where my dad was packing my lunch to take to school, ones where I was skipping first period math class and ones where I was living alone, in Downtown St. Pete.
 

It’s realizations like this that can cause people like myself to absolutely panic. I spent the rest of the day obsessing over the trivial thought of time. It was crazy to me how much time had passed, and how quickly it had done so. I spent a lot of time thinking about all the different lives I'd already lived, all the different norms and routines I gotten used to. But what stressed me out the most, was all the lives I'd yet to live. All of the of the places I'd go and all of the houses I'd live in. All of the people I'd meet, the jobs I would try and all the lessons I'd learn.
 

There is a quote by C.S. Lewis, that reads “Day by day, nothing changes. But when you look back, everything is different.” I've recently been feeling like my life has been in a giant transitional phase. In a matter of 6 short months, my whole life has become practically unrecognizable. The scariest part of it all, was that I hadn't even realized exactly how much had changed until recently.
 

I have always been a girl who needs consistency, but secretly craves change. Which is probably why I’m always dying my hair or moving into a new apartment. I used to think that I feared change. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve figured out that what I actually fear is the consequences of change. It's easy to say we want a new job, a new city to live in, or a new relationship. But what's not easy is seeing what we could potentially lose when gaining all of this "new". Like they say, in with new and out with the old. However, It's sometimes hard to weigh the pros and cons. Just because something is old, doesn't necessarily make it bad. Just as something new isn't always good. So the question is...how do you decide if the consequences are worth it? How do you know if what you’re gaining is enough to make up for what you could lose? Unfortunately, I don't have the answer.

However, I've recently come to terms with the fact that I cannot predict the future. Which was a surprisingly hard thing for me to accept. I am the type of person who always wants to KNOW. I hate guessing, wondering and waiting. I need certainty. And unfortunately I have let this cause me a lot of stress and anxiety throughout my life.

I’ve had to learn that we can’t let the fear of the future hold us back. As human beings we have no choice but to move forward. And ultimately, if you don’t ever make a choice to make a change, someone else will do it for you. We have to take risks.

In the past 6 months I got my first credit card, moved to Downtown Tampa, made some big changes in my career path, finally moved past an unhealthy relationship, got my first gym membership, got my own health insurance and began working on a clothing line with my two best friends. I also dyed my hair blonde. Maybe these things seem like small stepping stones to you, but to me, they are giant mile markers on the road of growing up.

Now that the anxiety caused by the unknown has settled, I’m  realizing that after feeling like I have been in limbo since graduating high school, I've finally started to find my footing. I’m genuinely happy with where I am and I’m even happier thinking about where I’m going. If I’m being honest with myself, this is the happiest I have ever been. I realized that all the clichéd quotes were right, you really can CHOOSE to be happy. It’s all about perception.

So somehow, in the midst of this “I’m In My Twenties” ongoing panic attack, I ended up here. Sitting in my bed, drinking a beer and eating sweet potato fries, typing all of this into my computer. I'm not entirely sure why I decided to start this blog. I guess I just couldn't think of any reasons that I shouldn't be starting this blog.

I think that keeping record of your revelations, fears, adventures, relationships, failures and victories is invaluable. And in the year 2014, with social media constantly at our fingertips, why not make them public? I'm hoping to look back on everything I'll end up posting here, 10 or 20 years from now and laugh at my naivety and dramatics. I'm also hoping that the things I'm going through and experiencing are things you're also dealing with. Maybe we can relate to one another.

So, if you're interested, this is going to be a very personal, honest and public journal of sorts. I also plan to regularly to post about fashion, music, photography, movies, news and whatever else I find interesting that week. Occasionally I might throw some life advice at you. Not that I know too much about life....but, maybe it'll help you out. WHO KNOWS. Right!?

Anyways. WELCOME TO MY BLOG, PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET.  

                               XO, Dani Kye